Three Different Daughters, Three Different Journeys

I have three daughters, and they are all very different. My older girls never struggled in school. They were great students, had good friends, and loved going to school. I never had to worry about them.

Then came my third child. I’ve heard that the youngest always gives you a run for your money, and in my case, that was definitely true.

A Struggle with School

My youngest daughter hated school with a passion. Every morning, it was a battle to keep her from staying home. She had many friends and was well-liked, but the learning part of school was just not her thing. After speaking to her teachers and her doctor, we decided to have her tested for ADHD.

She was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety in Kindergarten. We tried medication, but it seemed to make things worse. We struggled through elementary school, dealing with behavior issues, failing grades, and poor choices.

Middle School Challenges

Middle school came and went with little improvement. My youngest was diagnosed with dyslexia, which gave us some direction on how to help her. But even with that guidance, her poor choices seemed to overshadow everything else. She stopped wanting to do the things she used to love, and her attitude shifted to one of anger. She hardly came out of her room, and as middle school was coming to an end, we were desperate for answers on how to make things better.

A Fresh Start: High School and Softball

We decided that, although all her current friends were going to the same high school, we would move her to a different one where she didn’t know anyone. We were terrified that we were making the wrong decision, and she hated the choice we made for her.

When high school started, she didn’t know a single person. The first week was rough, to say the least. I suggested that maybe joining a club or sport could help her make friends. The following week, she decided to join the softball team. Even though she knew nothing about softball, the coaches welcomed her, making her feel confident and comfortable. She quickly made friends with the girls on the team, and almost overnight, everything changed.

A New Beginning

Because of her coaches and teammates, she:

• Started to do well in school
• Her attitude completely shifted
• She gained confidence
• She began to love school
• She made many new friends

Finding Belonging

I’m writing this blog today to say that if you have a struggling child, like I did, get them involved in something. It doesn’t matter what it is—a club, a sport, or a fine arts group. As long as they have a tribe and a place to belong, things will get better. Also, a fresh start can be a good thing, even if they don’t welcome it at first.

Trust Your Gut as a Parent

As a parent, you want to do what’s best for your child but also want them to be happy—and sometimes those two don’t align. Moving my daughter away from the only friends she had ever known was tough, but it turned out to be the best thing for her. Always trust your gut; even though it may be hard at first, it will get better.